I was asleep an hour ago. Life is just a series of disorienting shocks, isn’t it, administered at will by whichever higher power you favour that day (Beyoncé for me), like being wrenched, ...

Fate has thrown together in the Guardian Blind Date blender of doom Imelda, 56, a local authority officer, and Jayesh, 66, who works in medical devices. Two jobs I want to know absolutely nothing m… ...